20 April 2009

Mom, I'm Leaving

Not a good day. Not by a long stretch.

Perhaps it's because it's the first day of school, after a very laid back, chilled out Easter break (for the kids). Maybe I am just sleep-deprived. Or the planets were not in the proper alignment. Whatever.

I was cranky. Josh was whiny. Not a good combination.

In the afternoon, after we came home from his swim class, right before dinner --yes, the witching hour, --I lost it and yelled at him. He cried and stomped to his room, muttering, "Mom, I'm leaving and I'm not taking you with me."

I left him alone for a couple of minutes before I went in and sat with him. As soon as he saw me, he told me again, "I'm leaving. I'm not even taking Zo
ë with me." He then quickly backtracked and said, "No, I am taking Zoë with me, but I am not taking you."

Me: Where are you going?
Josh: To Canada.
Me: Where will you stay in Canada?
Josh: With Ah-Kong and Ah-Ma.
Me: Why do you want to go to Canada?
Josh (through tears): Because you are angry with me. *Un.Break.My.Heart*

I gathered him in my arms and just held him, all the while wondering how I was going to assure him that he is loved, yet not "lose the lesson." This I find to be one of the toughest part of parenting --finding the proper balance. I apologized for yelling at him, but explained why I got angry. We sat there quietly for a bit and then we heard Zo
ë knocking at the door, getting a bit upset herself that she wasn't in on whatever it was we were doing in there. I asked Josh if he was ready to go out and he nodded yes. Within minutes, he was off hiding with Zoë inside Chris' closet, calling out to me to find them.

I'm glad that kids are so resilient, but I felt very bad that Josh felt so sad that he wanted to leave. I know part of it is just for dramatic effect, but still... Man, I struggle.


a Tonggu Momma said...

We ALL struggle. The difference is that not all of us apologize. You did.

a Tonggu Momma said...

And that was meant to be a compliment.

schnider_am said...

Following from MBC!

Stacie said...

Newest follower from MBC!

Golfersmom said...

Thanks for the follow. I look forward to reading your tweets.

pam said...

At least he chose a great place to run away to! LOL

Raising kids is one of the hardest jobs we will ever have in this life.

Thanks for dropping by, I look forward to hearing more from you.

Anonymous said...

I await the day when these things happen to me. Following you from MBC

Ann said...

Unfortunately I can relate to this kind of situation all to well. I remember the times when my little ones (11 & 8 now) would just have enough, after I've had enough, and the drama would begin.
Hugs and lots of love get you through.

(I'm following from Mom Bloggers Club)

shelley said...

hi there,
thanks so much for the comment yesterday! it is moments like these that you will never forget, i know it is tense at the moment, but then they pass, a lesson learned, an appology, a kiss and a hug, that is what you will always remember!
shelley <3

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