09 June 2009

I Don't Deserve This

Lately, Josh has been sharing more and more about what he and his classmates talk about. He would drop little factoids and when probed about where he heard them from, he would say a classmate's name. An example --

Josh: Mommy, C's mommy forgets everything.
Me: Really? How do you know that?
Josh: C told me. She told everybody at school.

Note to self: Be ever more careful about what we do and say at home, lest Josh feels the urge to "contribute" to these discussions that I keep hearing more and more about.

I decided to test and see what he would say about me, if given the chance, so I asked him, "What would you tell people about me if people ask you about your mommy?"

Josh: Uh, can you ask me this later, on the drive home? (We were on our way to his swim lessons.)

Not wanting to push it, I said okay. But of course, no sooner had I started the car after we left the pool, I fished asked again. This is what he said:

My mommy is very good at games, all kinds of games. She helps me with my prayers. She loves everybody.

He did not mention about the times I don't let him do/have things that he wants. He did not say a word about the times that I made him feel sad enough to say that he's leaving. He did not say anything about how I sometimes lose it and yell at him. He did not recount the times he had wanted me to do something and I'd told him, "Later. I'm busy."

He has such a big heart, this little fellow. If it were practical, I would have pulled over to give him the mother of all hugs.

I am humbled at how gracious and forgiving children can be. To be more deserving of the love and the trust that our children place in us. So unconditionally. Definitely something to work towards.


sunnymama said...

His answer was so sweet, and so are your words about him! A lovely post :)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

What a beautiful boy! That was so adorable and you're right, he could've mentioned all the horrible stuff but it shows the things that mean a lot are the good things you bring to him and to the family.

Leslie said...

That is one sweet boy!!!

Joanne Choi said...

so sweet...you're so lucky he says that.

my daughter, when asked at church about how her parents teach, announced, "my mom yells... A LOT." nice, eh?

but at school, when asked why she loved me, she said, "Because my mom wakes up early to make muffins." slightly better than yelling a lot, but I've been reduced to muffin making yelling mom.

ModernMom said...

Too sweet!
Warning...nothing is a secret now:)

Lindy said...

It just goes to show that being a good Mom isn't always about giving them everything they want whenever they want it.

Great job Mom!

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