“Taking care of one’s skin leads to a steady stream of compliments, just like hanging out with Grandma’s knitting group." – For a package of six lymphatic drainage massages / hot stone treatments.
“Creating a meal from scratch is both challenging and delicious, much like playing "Stairway to Heaven" on a clarinet made out of a candy cane.” – For a baking class
“From defeating potato stealing aliens to slicing through particularly solid lumps of cheese, lasers boast a range functional daily uses.” – For a laser hair removal package
Seriously, who writes these? Is it just one writer who does them all for all the advertisers? Or do their pool of writers have to have a certain “style” or humor before they could be considered for the job?
…why some bugs are beautiful in a icky kind of way. There is no way you can make me touch them, but I will gladly get as close as I can to take pictures of them. Does that make me weird?